TheLoop21.com

By: Sunny Deuber-Carney (Add to your loop)
Tue, 08/19/2008 - 10:20

Just before dawn, I was awakened by the absolute stillness. The bus had stopped for one last time on the overnight trip from Ohio to North Carolina, where my new husband and I would finally set up housekeeping together.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, the first things I saw were two drinking fountains, each with a sign above it: on the right, “White Drinking Fountain” and on the left, “Colored Drinking Fountain.” Between them, two doors: on the right, a “White Restroom” and on the left, its counterpart for ‘coloreds’ only.

I was nineteen years old. I knew there was prejudice in the world, but had been protected from experiencing most it. I grew up in Los Angeles, a perfect example of the ‘melting pot’ that is the idealistic picture of America and one I fervently wanted to be true. I was raised in a racially, culturally, and ethnically mixed environment. My mom had friends of every color and from every ethnic background. It was a richly-textured world, and my own life has been infinitely richer because of it.

So I was shocked and horrified by that first early morning sight on my first day in North Carolina. I’d heard on the radio or TV that there were places like this. But it had touched my own life only once or twice. My mother’s people had emigrated from Ukraine and Poland, and were Jewish. My father’s family: predominantly German Lutherans, who came to the U.S. before the Revolutionary War. My very non-Semitic appearance sheltered me from the kind of prejudice that’s based solely on appearance, which made my life more pleasant, in some respects. The less pleasant aspect: religious bigots did not hesitate to spew out their hatred of Jews in front of me. Not having been raised with a particular set of religious beliefs; I didn’t feel any need to defend what wasn’t there. I chose to remain silent and to keep my secret.

To mom’s credit, she taught me early to never judge anyone by their outward appearance, but to get to know them by the qualities that were beyond appearance: values, intelligence, character, accomplishments, and a variety of other criteria that can never be discerned by skin color or other physical characteristics. Amazingly, she was even tolerant of the few bigots in her circle of friends.

But she believed that even extremely intelligent people were sometimes unable to rid themselves of prejudices that had been stuffed into their brains since childhood. Her best friend’s husband was such a person.

While I was in North Carolina, I met many bigots, like the man my new best friend and I worked for briefly. We were desperate for money, since both of our husbands had shipped out. We found jobs at a drive-in restaurant. On our second or third night, I waited on a carful of customers parked as far from the restaurant as they could get. After taking their orders, I returned to the kitchen, only to be  confronted by the owner, who said to me, “Don’t you ever dare serve them people again or I’ll fire you on the spot!”

In my innocence, I asked “What people? They’re just customers that want to buy something from you.”

“Don’t you never serve no carful of G-D N…rs again! Understand?”

“Yessir,” I responded. “Never again!” My friend--from a background similar to mine--and I took off our aprons simultaneously, picked up our purses, and left forever.

In the almost fifty years since then, some things have gotten significantly better. Have we come to recognize that, at a basic level, there really are no differences between us? Or has political correctness merely forced the bigots and hate-filled irrational people to keep their mouths shut?

I hope that it’s the former and fear that the correct answer is the latter. There is, and always may be, something primitive in us: fear of anyone and anything different. It’s an instinctual reaction that’s difficult to overcome without making a conscious effort. Of course, overcoming such basic instincts requires an open mind and learning, especially, learning to think, analyze, and recognize the truth. Perhaps in another fifty years, we’ll have made progress in that direction.

Put that in your prayers, please, in an effort toward creating a more rational and evolved world for all of us, and for those to come.

Was Harry Reid right in his comments about Obama?

Yes, it's true

Maybe, but it was inappropriate

No, he's clueless

Not sure